


Don’t Let It Consume You

by Atumun15



Series: The Negative Aspects of Life [5]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Haunting, M/M, Sad, What am I doing, rough, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-08 00:45:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14682959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atumun15/pseuds/Atumun15
Summary: Don’t let it consume you.Whatever it is, don’t let it.





	Don’t Let It Consume You

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to another part of Ves has to write to calm herself down.

Don’t let it consume you.

 

Whatever it is, just don’t let it.

 

I can feel my heart pulsing in my toes by how hard and fast it’s beating. A headache creeps up on my temples and the only thing I can think about is the sharp noises of clanging pots across the house and the pitter patter of claws on wood. But no reaction could come out of me. I was sat too deep into the corner of my bed, cocooned in my blankets to move an inch.

 

I was too scared that everything around me would crumble if I so much as twitched.

 

It’s hard for me to put it into genuine words what it’s like. It’s just as if it were a monster with gleaming red eyes in the dark of your room and staring at you, waiting, waiting, waiting, and then pouncing. But it’s not the pounce that tears you apart, no. It’s the waiting. It’s the suspense behind it all. It’s the wondering if anything will actually happen or if it’s just your mind playing cruel tricks on you.

 

I try to not let the monster consume me. I try to keep my senses calm and my heart steady, but sometimes… when the feeling in your stomach is just a little too much, you let it. Because I’m not strong enough to fight it off, no matter how much I tussle, it doesn’t mean that I will always win. And that’s scary because losing can do more damage than what it’s worth.

 

Tears brim at the edges of my eyes as a rough clang of pots and pans comes from the kitchen and a quick hiss from one of the members telling them to keep quiet soon followed. I had escaped into my bedroom saying I needed a nap and no one seemed to question it with the dark circles under my eyes.

 

Naps seemed to be my only way out.

 

But not even sleep could distract me from the anxiety eating away at both my stomach and my mind. It felt like I was drowning in a pool of black, thick liquid. My soul was thrashing, fighting, _begging_ to get out. But nothing was stopping the liquid from filling my lungs and tearing the innocence and light from within me.

 

I stared up at the bunk above, Jisung’s Star sheets staring me right in the eye mockingly, nagging me for not being one of _them_.

 

Soft knocks came at the door.

 

It creaked as it opened, two figures poking their heads through as they checked if I was awake. I peeked my eyes over the edges of my blanket and my heart slowed st the soft smiles Jeongin and Felix shot my way. “Hey, Prince…” Felix trailed off, sitting down at the edge of the bed and running his hand along my side. I flinched at the contact and if Felix noticed my sudden jolt, he didn’t say anything. “Jeonginnie and I are going out to get some food, do you want to come?” I felt his soft hand trail up my side until it was resting on the nape of my neck, and I could feel every single groove of his hand and every single hair spiked up on my skin.

 

I shook my head. I couldn’t even think of the idea of walking or facing the outside world without fear striking in my stomach. Jeongin joined Felix on the edge of the bed, bending down so his face was nuzzled into my neck right above where Felix’s hand rested. “You sure, Hyung?” I could feel myself breaking at his hot breath on my neck, tears threatening to spill. I nodded and hid my face in the blanket to hide the tears pooling in my eyes.

 

But it’s not as if they could see them in the dark of the room anyway.

 

“What’s wrong?” Felix hushed after a while, keeping his distance and nudging Jeongin away when it clicked in his head that I was becoming too overwhelmed by their presence. I couldn’t form an answer. If felt like sand had been stuck down my throat and my lips hadn’t touched a drop of liquid in two weeks. “Ok, Prince. We’ll be back.” Felix sighed out, nudging a gentle kiss to my cheek and guiding Jeongin out by the waist after he did the same. It felt like a snake was twining around my neck when the door clicked shut.

 

My body jolted at the squawk of a crow outside my window, the tears finally flushing down my cheeks and sobs racking my bones.

 

Why won’t it go away? Why won’t it leave me alone?

 

I gripped and tugged at my pillow and blanket, trying to just get rid of the loud sharp sounds that were suffocating me. Before I could even think, a haunting scream escaped past my lips, “SHUT UP!” The tears wouldn’t stop flowing.

 

My door busted open, Felix and Jeongin running in and taking my shaking form into their arms and trying their best to calm me down but the only thing I could think about was the way the tears were flowing and it felt like a snake was twining around my neck, a crow was plucking at my eyes, and black liquid was filling my lungs. _It wouldn’t shut up._

 

But suddenly it was quiet.

 

I could no longer hear Felix’s hushed whispers, Jeongin’s whines, my breathing, my heart rate, the claws against wood floors, the clanging of pans. Nothing. Nothing was heard and nothing was felt. My body was numb, oblivious to the two sets of arms twined around my waist. The only thing I could register clearly were the stars above me, printed into Jisung’s sheets.

 

I wonder if they would let me live amongst them.

 

[Moodboard](https://twitter.com/atumun15/status/996903842817208322)

  



End file.
